SO Called Friends

Hiya Girls,

Ok so i usually post every day but lately i've been slacking :O.

it's not like i even have any excuse for it i've just been totally lazy and couldn't for the life of me think what to talk about.

I must admit i wasn't in the best of moods yesterday, I have never been so hurt in all my life! 

Ok so here is the deal so you know what the hell i'm talking about.

When i moved to be with my boyfriend over 2 years ago i met his friends and i made good friends with one of the guys and this particular "guy" (trying so hard not to use names)

moved away to somewhere on the other side of the world for a kind of exchange student kinda thing, what ever anyway when he left we had a big party for him and i went out my way to think of a really good well thought out present, which turned out to be a big success.

Now the whole time he was away i sent emails kept him in the loop and talked to everyone about him coming back.

Now about 3 months ago he arrived back and we all got together a few times and chilled..bla bla bla...and then came the news that the girlfriend he made of in this other part of the world decided that she was going to come over here for the next 6 months, obv we all got excited about that.

A few days later it turns out that my bf's cousin is going to be the one driving him to pick her up...so as soon as he was asked he asked my bf to go as company for him..which ment 1 seat was left in the car so i said i would go.

i then figured that if she was staying for 6 months obv there is going to come a time when my friend has to work and she will be left on her own so i decided that it would be ok if she came to my house and stayed with me instead of being alone at his house..

I then figured that it was a really good idea that i was going in the car because that gave the poor girl some time to get to know me in a group situation rather than just turning up at my house not knowing me from adam and feeling really uncomfortable.

so she asked my friend if that was ok and i also asked him myself which he said TO MY FACE that it was.

So i then got all excited about it.

BUT

that all changed last night

i asked asked by the girlfriend to find out who was coming to pick her up i then did that and rang my bf which is where i then discovered he was actually with the friend so when i asked about it it turns out that some other friend of ours thinks he is going...then he decides he can't go...then decides he can

at which point might i make clear that no one really likes this guy and im the only one who sticks up for him when the guys all take the piss out of him.

So when i received the text telling me this i then rang my bf to find out what the fuck was going on, who then puts me on the phone to this other friend who i then said in a very obviously joking voice.

"about this picking up lark  lol dont you be thinking your going i am hahah" 

i clearly ment it as a joke and was totaly obvious about that but when i went to say 

"just joking but seriously whats happening"

I didn't even get the chance he blew up at me shouting, asking who put me in charge, telling me im not allowed to go...bla bla bla

and this is a fully grown boy we are talking about here.. having some sort of princess hissy fit! 

so in the end i text my friend and told him id sent him a big message on fb and that i wanted to talk to him when he got home....

BUT i never got to have that talk...i got a text a few mins later telling me this stupid friend of ours had a big heated conversation about going and basically had  a strop really until he got his own way, at which point i had to give up my seat in the car and not go.

So you can imagine by this time i was FUMING!

I couldn't believe that my so called mate! 

had just give in to this stroppy sod let him get his own way and told me i cant go...

I then felt totally second best 

and what made matters worse is i moved away last year and have only just came back again so my friends here are limited and because i now have my own flat i can't afford to just go out all the time so this meant a lot to me.

So i completely felt fucked over to say the least so i basically cried for ages.

it wasn't the fact that i couldn't go in the car because come on im not 6 it was the fact that after everything and really thinking i would be the one picked over that shit head i wasnt....

it was the biggest let down ever.

so now they are expecting to take the stroppy friend to pick her up and then come back to my flat and all chill out...

well i'm sorry i'm not sure how i should feel about that to be honest part of me feels totally used and i'm sorry but if it was me i would of allowed the person who was going to look after my girlfriend while i was in work and allow us to got to her home to come with us in the car wouldn't you?

so i've made it VERY clear that that princess stroppy pants is not allowed in my home i've also made it clear that i am not happy that i got picked to be left behind and that im also not happy to have everyone coming back here when i wasn't allowed to go in the first place.

My boyfriend stuck by me through it all though which made me feel better he also said that if i wasn't welcome to go then he didn't want to go either.

I realised just how crazy my mindset is right now after all that last night i got so angry that i decided that i wasn't going to eat today...i don't really know why i decided that as it doesn't really effect him nor will he know its even happening but it makes me feel better....

makes no sense i know maybe i'm loosing my mind..more than likely

anyway moving on....

its 1.30pm and im still in bed i did a tone of workout last night as i was so angry and my body is killing me i was literately nearly sick i did that much

also i'm still kinda hurt from last night so i'm kinda just sulking in my bed not wanting to see the daylight or any other room in my house least of all the kitchen.

i really do need to get up though as i should of taken my tablets a few hours ago and obviously still haven't so that's not good also my boyfriend arrives home at 4 and i look like death warmed up

So i'll have to love and leave you for now xxx