Hi girls,
Ok so yesterday went ok..ish
i only had one meal...now i know the meal wasn't healthy but i spent all day tidying the flat which took ages and when my boyfriend arrived at my flat i really didn't have the strength left to cook so he got pizza :/ not one of the best choices but at least that was all i had.
anyway later on that night we had a bath and was in my room and my boyfriend was stood in the mirror and we where talking about bad posture and i was telling him how good posture should look
i then went to stand up myself and show him that my posture is also bad and when i stood up my towel fell down my back and as i positioned myself in the mirror i had the most horrific epiphany (sudden realisation of the truth)
my back actually wobbled its covered in fat my legs are fat everything is fat
i sat on the bed quickly covering myself in my dressing down and cried.
my boyfriend sat and cuddled me and told me i can make it all go away as long as i stick to my "diet" as he sees it.
That experience was horrible but i'm glad it happened... i am now more determined than ever every time i think of eating something that i shouldn't i just think back to that moment and how i looked and how it made me feel and i'm just put off right away.
Love Sophia xx
Tuesday 5 October 2010
Sunday 3 October 2010
Today is the day!
Hi girls,
Ok so for some reason things just don't seem to be going to plan lately :/
I just want to get back to the way i was last week, i was doing so so well and then suddenly it's as if i'm all alone and i just give up...
I know i said last time that it was a new start and i wasn't going to mess up again and i did but i mean it this time i'm really turning myself around.
The more i go on thinking oh never mind tomorrow is another day or i'll start properly on Monday i'm just going to get nowhere there is an endless supply of Mondays and new days so i've got to be the one to put my foot down!
and i can happily say that today is the day!
It's 5.15pm and so far all i have eaten is 2 tea-spoonful's of my oat cereal i did make a small bowl full but i got distracted and so far haven't gone back to it.
I'm thinking i'll be having a tuna salad for lunch and possibly finish of the oats for dinner.
I'm currently sat at my table in my comfy chair with my water and cigarettes with my little fire on so i can get all comfortable as i think i'm going to spend my Sunday editing lots of new bits to my website and then later on it's CSI Sunday so i'll be watching all of that while knitting my sister her present which is a white bear :)
i'll be posting a picture of it when i'm done..hopefully it will look good and not fall apart as this is the first time i've done anything like that and to be honest i only taut myself how to knit a few days ago.
i find it's a very cheap hobbies to have it also takes a lot of concentration to follow a pattern so you find hours pass without even noticing which is good when your trying to avoid that awful kitchen
it's also easy to learn there are lots of video tutorials on you tube so you don't need to follow hard to understand picture guides which frankly i find impossible haha
Thought of the day...
I'm a very creative person and love making things, i'd love to hear what kind of things you do to pass the time and distract yourself.
I find that on line there are many websites including my own that have a distraction section but personally i find that most of the options are a bit boring they work for so long but some days you just don't feel like cleaning, dancing or going for walks....i must admit i do use the 'make a webpage/blog' idea...obviously but i don't know about you but sometimes i just wish to escape this weight addiction and think of something other than avoiding food.
make use of my time...do something productive...hence why i've learnt to knit..now i'd love to hear if you feel the same and what you do to pass the time or maybe even ideas of craft hobbies that i may not of thought of.
Ok so for some reason things just don't seem to be going to plan lately :/
I just want to get back to the way i was last week, i was doing so so well and then suddenly it's as if i'm all alone and i just give up...
I know i said last time that it was a new start and i wasn't going to mess up again and i did but i mean it this time i'm really turning myself around.
The more i go on thinking oh never mind tomorrow is another day or i'll start properly on Monday i'm just going to get nowhere there is an endless supply of Mondays and new days so i've got to be the one to put my foot down!
and i can happily say that today is the day!
It's 5.15pm and so far all i have eaten is 2 tea-spoonful's of my oat cereal i did make a small bowl full but i got distracted and so far haven't gone back to it.
I'm thinking i'll be having a tuna salad for lunch and possibly finish of the oats for dinner.
I'm currently sat at my table in my comfy chair with my water and cigarettes with my little fire on so i can get all comfortable as i think i'm going to spend my Sunday editing lots of new bits to my website and then later on it's CSI Sunday so i'll be watching all of that while knitting my sister her present which is a white bear :)
i'll be posting a picture of it when i'm done..hopefully it will look good and not fall apart as this is the first time i've done anything like that and to be honest i only taut myself how to knit a few days ago.
i find it's a very cheap hobbies to have it also takes a lot of concentration to follow a pattern so you find hours pass without even noticing which is good when your trying to avoid that awful kitchen
it's also easy to learn there are lots of video tutorials on you tube so you don't need to follow hard to understand picture guides which frankly i find impossible haha
Thought of the day...
I'm a very creative person and love making things, i'd love to hear what kind of things you do to pass the time and distract yourself.
I find that on line there are many websites including my own that have a distraction section but personally i find that most of the options are a bit boring they work for so long but some days you just don't feel like cleaning, dancing or going for walks....i must admit i do use the 'make a webpage/blog' idea...obviously but i don't know about you but sometimes i just wish to escape this weight addiction and think of something other than avoiding food.
make use of my time...do something productive...hence why i've learnt to knit..now i'd love to hear if you feel the same and what you do to pass the time or maybe even ideas of craft hobbies that i may not of thought of.
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